Community is more than just a group of people—it’s a supportive network where every voice is acknowledged and every struggle is met with compassion. When challenges seem overwhelming, a caring community provides the empathy and strength needed to rediscover hope. This blog delves into how finding safe spaces and building connections can support the recovery process, fostering a sense of belonging and purpose.
As the Alumni Services Manager and Clinical Outreach Specialist at Reasons Eating Disorder Center, I’ve been incredibly fortunate to hear countless stories of resilience and witness how coming together—being seen, heard, and valued—can support those in recovery. At Reasons, we nurture hope with the belief that each person is capable of living an authentic life filled with meaning and connectedness. No one should face another day without the support of community, and identifying safe spaces is an important step on the journey to healing.
Today, I’m excited to share a Q&A with Millicent Starr, a Reasons alum, podcaster, and changemaker whose candid insights and passion for community-building vividly illustrate the powerful role that connection plays in the recovery journey.
Why is community such a vital part of recovery, especially for individuals navigating eating disorders?
Millicent: “If eating disorders thrive on shame and isolation, then it’s fair to recognize authentic connection and community for the powerful tools they are in reclaiming your life. So much of recovery is spent waging internal battles that often feel all-consuming and impossible to avoid. The more we practice connecting with others, the steadier our footing in the present moment and the world around us becomes.”
What does “community” mean to you in the context of mental health and healing?
Millicent: “Finding and building a community where you can belong is a foundational step towards creating a life to love on the other side of recovery. What we commit ourselves to hiding eventually ends up controlling us. For me, hiding from myself and the reality of my mental health struggles resulted in my eating disorder, which wedged itself between me and the people I love. To live in community, in my mind, is to embrace knowing and being known truly and fully. As I commit to community building, I’m reminded that the main reason I chose recovery was to live with and for—not only myself, but others.”
What are the key traits of a safe and supportive community?
Millicent: “Open communication, an intention for peace, welcomed inclusion, and diversity of thought, background, and identity are great places to start!”
How can someone who is early in their recovery journey begin identifying spaces that feel safe for them?
Millicent: “First, take a good look at yourself and map out what you want from a community—your why, your dreams, your hopes. The better you know yourself, the easier it is to find where you belong. Look for people who radiate a joy for living or who are actively working towards that joy. You don’t need perfect people; you need confidently human ones. Follow the thread of what excites you until you find connection with someone on the same wavelength. Seek out spaces where you’re not just accepted, but celebrated. When you recognize these signs, embrace the discomfort of pursuing them further.”
What advice do you have for individuals looking to sustain meaningful connections within a community over time?
Millicent “Intentionality and communication from the start are key. Don’t be too intense about it, but clearly communicate that building community is a priority in your life. By vocalizing your intentions, you invite others to join you in that pursuit and hold yourself accountable. For instance, my roommate and I established an ‘open door policy’ one night a week, letting our friends know our home was a welcoming space. This simple practice has led to countless memorable moments. Find what works for you!”
How can someone advocate for themselves and their needs in a recovery-focused space?
Millicent: “Communication is essential—speak your mind from the heart so that the root cause of your need can be addressed. If speaking up feels overwhelming, consider reframing your thoughts; often, someone else in that space might benefit from hearing what you have to say. Let your voice be the catalyst for both your healing and the empowerment of others.”
Can you share a time when being part of a safe community made a meaningful impact on your life?
Millicent: “In the thick of my eating disorder, the energy not consumed by my behaviors was spent hiding from the world. In the early days of recovery, after leaving treatment, I felt overwhelmed by the constant work of healing—it was like tending to a caged animal in the back of my mind, deepening my isolation. Then, I made the intentional decision to focus on building friendships. This emerging community allowed me to step out of my head, even if just for a few moments, and lean into the vibrant lives of those around me. These connections significantly fueled my recovery by reconnecting me with life and light.”
What practices have helped you personally in building or contributing to a supportive recovery space?
Millicent “I’ve learned that setting a precedent for how we speak to and about ourselves is crucial. My friends and I coined what I call ‘loving aggression’—a lighthearted way to counteract negative self-talk and redirect our energy. We also ensure that any discussion about someone not present is solely filled with high praise. Little gestures, like saying ‘We were gossiping about how much we love you last night,’ contribute to building a warm and supportive environment.”
What would you say to someone who feels hesitant or overwhelmed about finding or joining a community?
Millicent: “Beyond that initial discomfort lie connections and relationships that can transform your life. You don’t need to join a huge group; sometimes, all it takes is the intentional pursuit of a single connection. Remember, every human craves love and belonging—you are not alone in this journey.”
What’s one piece of advice you’d offer to someone starting their journey of recovery with community-building in mind?
Millicent: “The more you work to know and love yourself, the easier it becomes to know and love others. Self-awareness is the cornerstone of building lasting, meaningful connections.”
I hope the insights shared here remind you that every step toward building community is a step toward reclaiming your life. Embrace the idea behind Not One More Day Without Community: How to Identify Safe Spaces in Your Eating Disorder Recovery Journey—reach out, build connections, and remember that you’re not alone on your healing journey—you deserve to belong to a safe, supportive community.
Nestled in Southern California, Reasons Eating Disorder Center specializes in holistic and integrated treatment for eating and co-occurring mental health disorders. Our approach prioritizes gender and size inclusivity and affirmation, ensuring that adolescents and adults benefit from a tailored continuum of care designed to meet their unique needs.