Reframing Our Relationship to New Years
New Year’s often comes with the pressures of perfectionism, unattainable resolutions, and external expectations. Although separating ourselves from this approach to the new year may be difficult, it is possible to reframe our relationship to the significance to the start of a new year.
Reframing our relationship to New Years can involve focusing on self-compassion, meaningful progress, and all-around well-being.
1. “Resolutions” or “intentions?”
Traditionally formatted New Year’s resolutions can often feel like rigid goals that are easy to abandon and that are often focused on appearance. Instead, try setting intentions. This allows for more flexibility and growth by setting a mindset or direction, rather than a specific outcome. Intentions don’t need to be new or big changes either. If you’re proud of how you’ve been working on your recovery in 2024, set an intention to continue that journey.
2. Embrace Reflection Over Fixation
The new year often becomes a time of self-criticism, where we only focus on what’s wrong or what we think needs fixing. Use the turn of the year as a time for reflection rather than self-criticism. Reflect on what you’ve learned about yourself, the challenges you’ve faced, and how you’ve grown. Instead of thinking about what you want to change, focus on what you appreciate about yourself and the journey you’ve been on throughout 2024.
3. Ditch the “New Year, New Me” Narrative
Complete transformation in the new year is often an unrealistic expectation that drives feelings of inadequacy. This can be true of changes related to health and physical appearance, especially for individuals working on their eating disorder recovery. If you’re in a space to focus on change, take the opportunity to pursue small steps toward your recovery goals. Know that setbacks are normal and not a failure. Embracing who you are and the goals you’ve already been working on is just as empowering.
4. Prioritize Emotional and Mental Well-Being
Physical health goals often dominate New Year’s discussions, which can be hard to hear for someone struggling with an eating disorder. Mental health goals should have more space in these conversations for everyone, especially for those who are struggling with their mental health. Make mental health a central theme to your new year. If setting goals feels healthy for you this time of year, think of it from a lens of self-care. This could include getting on a regular sleep schedule, scheduling therapy sessions, leaning into support systems, and leaning into healthy coping outlets.
5. Practice Self-Compassion Rather Than Self-Criticism
Regardless of what 2024 brought, you haven’t failed and don’t need to be “fixed.” Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a loved one. Self-compassion allows for room to learn, rather than beat yourself up over the past. The new year doesn’t need to be an opportunity to pick apart and change what we don’t like about ourselves, no matter what we see people around us engaging in for the holiday.
6. Focus on Connection and Support
Isolation can be a significant contributor to mental health struggles, and the holiday season can sometimes exacerbate feelings of loneliness. This can be a good time of year to re-engage with your support system. Cultivating meaningful connection as an intention for the new year builds your support system. This could involve deepening relationships with friends and family, reaching out to a therapist or support group, or involving yourself more within a community. Prioritize the importance of making yourself and those around you feel understood and supported
By reframing how we approach New Year’s, we can shift the focus from external expectations to internal growth, well-being, and self-acceptance. The new year doesn’t have to be about perfection or a dramatic transformation—it can be an opportunity for kindness, reflection, and steady progress toward emotional and mental health.
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