Eating disorders, including anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and binge eating disorder, are far more prevalent than many people realize and affect a large portion of the population. According to estimates, as many as 29 million people in the United States alone will experience an eating disorder at some point in their lives. These disorders can have devastating physical, emotional, and psychological impacts on those who struggle with them. However, there is often a misconception that eating disorders only affect certain types of people, such as young women, or those of a specific race, ethnicity, or socio-economic background. The truth, however, is that eating disorders do not discriminate—they can affect people of all genders, ages, races, ethnicities, and socio-economic levels.
In fact, eating disorders are more widespread than many realize, which means that chances are, if you’re reading this, you either know someone who is currently struggling with an eating disorder, or you may know someone who needs help but hasn’t yet sought treatment. It’s also highly possible that you could unintentionally say something triggering or offensive to someone you don’t know is struggling with an eating disorder. Despite the growing awareness surrounding eating disorders, it’s easy to overlook how seemingly harmless comments or questions can negatively impact someone’s recovery process.
Learning How To Be Supportive
Most people want to be supportive of those dealing with eating disorders or any other mental health challenges. Eating disorders can be isolating, and recovery is often a long, difficult road. The people who love and care for those in recovery often want to help and provide comfort, but they might not always know how to do so without inadvertently causing harm. Even statements made with the best intentions can end up perpetuating damaging myths, reinforcing unhealthy thoughts, or even worsening someone’s self-image. Understanding which phrases and comments can be potentially harmful is crucial in offering support.
It’s important to realize that individuals who are in recovery from eating disorders are actively working to change their relationship with food, body image, and their emotional health. While these individuals do not need to be coddled or treated as “fragile,” understanding the impact of certain words or comments can significantly help in affirming their recovery journey.
Words Matter
For example, comments like “You look so much better than before!” or “You’ve gained weight, which is great!” may seem like compliments but can be problematic for someone in recovery. These statements focus on the physical aspects of their body, reinforcing the idea that their worth is tied to their appearance. A person recovering from an eating disorder may still struggle with body image and weight, and these kinds of comments can inadvertently make them feel self-conscious or even lead them to compare themselves to their previous physical state. What might seem like a positive reinforcement of their recovery can actually reinforce old habits of thinking that they need to focus on physical appearance and weight.
On the other hand, there are several things you can say to support someone in their recovery. Offering unconditional emotional support without focusing on their appearance is crucial. For example, “I’m really proud of how strong you are” or “I’m here for you no matter what” are statements that affirm their inner strength and value beyond their physical appearance. Focusing on their character, their resilience, and the progress they’ve made in their recovery helps to remind them that they are more than just their struggle with an eating disorder.
Another important aspect to keep in mind is that recovery from an eating disorder is not a linear process. There will be ups and downs, and there will be times when they may relapse or feel discouraged. It’s essential to avoid placing any kind of pressure or unrealistic expectations on them. Phrases like “You’ve come so far, you can’t go back now” or “You’re so much better now, you should be past this” can make someone feel like they’ve failed if they have a setback. Instead, you could say, “I know recovery can be tough, but I’m so proud of the steps you’ve taken” or “You’re doing the best you can, and that’s what matters.”
Ultimately, supporting someone in eating disorder recovery requires empathy, patience, and understanding. It’s essential to be a good listener, to offer validation for their feelings, and to avoid pushing them into a position where they feel judged, pressured, or misunderstood. Language that reinforces self-compassion, strength, and progress—no matter how small—can go a long way in helping someone heal.
Support is Key
Remember that when in doubt, it’s always best to simply ask the person what kind of support they need. Each person’s experience with an eating disorder is unique, and what works for one individual may not work for another. The most meaningful thing you can offer is your presence, your patience, and your willingness to learn about how to best support them in their recovery journey.
Monte Nido is here should you or someone you love need help. With in-person programs in 14 states and virtual options in 28 states, our compassionate team is ready to provide the support they need. To connect with a member of our admissions team, click here.